Stories

     Every story has at least one choosing point - a point where you have options.  Sometimes the only choice is in the initial prevention - such as whether or not to attend an activity, open your door walk to your car, be alone with someone or lock your door.  However, you will often have choices at other points of an intended attack.
     There are never guarantees - no scenario is just like another, but there are in general, some 'best choices.'  Since the choices you make will determine your LIFEstyle, it is imperative that you know what your best choices are and then commit yourself to making them.
     A few of your best LIFEstyle choices are exemplified and highlighted in the following stories....


What would your daughter do if her date threatened her and began driving her out to a secluded place?
     Gina could hardly believe that the guy she had been eyeing had asked her out.  She was so excited to go out with him, her parents actually postponed their family vacation so she could make the date. At some point during their evening together her date, Karl, began driving out of the city toward the desert.  When Gina asked where they were going Karl responded with, "I'm taking you out to the desert and I'm going to *!#**!#* you!"  (Choice?)
     Gina slid her high heeled shoe off and with anger and adrenaline giving her power, she pounded her would-be assailant in the head with the heel.  This maneuver caused Karl to try to protect himself which dramatically slowed the car down enough for Gina to open the door, plunge out, and run to safety before her date was able to carry out his threat.
     Gina's choice to channel her anger and adrenaline - to aggressively act and commit to her own survival instead of putting herself at the mercy of her assailant saved her from an unknown and possibly fatal horror.  Assailants are not merciful.


What would you do if you were walking to your car one night and a man came out from behind it and threatened you saying, "I'm going to kill you?"
     Jean was leaving her office one night after work.  Knowing that she would be returning to her car after dark and alone, she had taken the safety precaution to park her car under a light.  She walked confidently to her car and began to unlock the door.  From behind the car a man approached her and said menacingly.  "I'm going to kill you."  (Choice?)  Without missing a beat, Jean replied firmly, "If you do then I'll kill you right back!"  This response stunned her assailant and he took off.     Notice all of the safety habits Jean had built into her LIFEstyle.  She parked under a light, walked confidently, and had her key ready to open the car door.  Taking these precautions would often deter a predator from choosing you as a victim.  However sometimes, despite everything you can do, you may end up in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Along with making safety habits, you also need to know how to act in dangerous or uncomfortable situations.  Jean was able to stop her would-be assault in the 'testing' stage because she did not cower when her assailant threatened to kill her.  She showed him by her verbal resistance that she would not be intimidated and would not be an easy victim for him.  Predators are cowards - indications of resistance will likely send them looking for an easier target.


What would your sister do if someone at work began making crude remarks and gestures toward her?
     Amber worked with a man who at first was very nice and friendly.  However as weeks went by, his friendliness became more and more inappropriate.  (Choice?)  Eventually he began leering and rolling his tongue whenever he saw her.  (Choice?)  Frustrated and embarrassed, Amber finally talked to her husband about the harassment and despite her husband's desire to 'take him out,' she decided she wanted to handle the situation herself.  The next time her abuser stopped by her desk and began his lurid gyrations (Choice?) Amber grabbed the scissors from off of her desk, got right up in his face and pointing the scissors t his mouth she yelled, "If you ever do that to me again I'll cut your tongue out!"  Along with her words she used her eyes, voice and stance to effectively convey her message.  He never bothered her again but was eventually fired from that job due to sexual harassment complaints from other women.     It's better to 'nip questionable comments in the bud' so to speak.  Stand up for your dignity as soon as you feel uncomfortable.  The sooner the better - you'll save yourself a lot of uneasiness and worry over what to do.  If you make the decision right now that you will never let someone take advantage of you in this way, your response if someone begins making even small inappropriate comments will be immediate.  You might say, "Don't talk to me like that," or "I don't want you talking like that in front of me."  Exactly what you say doesn't really matter, what matters is that you use your body language to stand behind your words so there is no question that you will defend your dignity and will take measures to make the behavior stop.  Likely this up-front verbal confrontation will stop this abuser from getting their power rush at your expense.  On the other hand, if you allow the behavior to continue, it will likely escalate into full fledged sexual harassment.


Would your son's car doors be locked if an assailant suddenly appeared and tried to jump into his car while he was waiting at a traffic light?
     My 17 year old daughter was driving home from a friend's house around 11:30 p.m.  While stopped at a traffic light in a quiet area of town and singing away with her radio, she was startled when suddenly a man appeared at the passenger side of the car wearing black clothes complete with a ski mask and tried to open her door.  Finding the door locked, he kept pulling on the handle while he pounded on her window and yelled at her to "Open the door! - Open the door!"  (Yeah right, that's just what she is going to do - not.)  Screaming, she immediately took off, running through the light and tearing through the next light as well in her effort to get as far away from this guy as possible.  (Luckily there was no traffic:)  Calling me on her cell phone, she could not even get the words out to tell me what had happened.  I've never seen her so traumatized.     What a terrifying experience!  However, I'm so grateful that it was a terrifying experience for her and not a horrifying or fatal experience.  What prevented the latter?  Her locked doors.  We don't need to go into the 'what if's' - what could have happened to her if her doors had not been locked....Instead, let's notice that the choice she made far in advance of this event to create the LIFE-style habit of locking her doors might very well have saved her life this that night.  Locking her doors prevented her would-be assailant from getting into her car and therefore shielded her from having to make a the more dangerous choice of how to aggressively act to deter an imminent assault.  
     This was not an expected event, but then attacks are never expected.  Creating LIFEstyle habits can shield us from the unexpected.  
     Just in case you are thinking you can ignore creating this habit because your car doors lock automatically, think again.  Make a habit of locking your doors as soon as you get into your car.  Why?  Because doors don't automatically lock until your car is moving and it takes time to get moving!  You might even add to that time by talking to the kids, making a phone call, looking at your to-do list or checking your make-up before you even start the car up.  There is definitely lag time between the time you get into your car and the time your doors automatically lock themselves - time enough for someone to open your passenger door and get inside your car.  Lock your doors immediately, always.